Preggo-insomnia…

Welcome to the land of preggo-insomnia,
Where things are sweatier, 
and hungrier, 
and sometimes extra vomit-ier.
Night times are spent rolling in a stuffy duvet spin;
one leg out…
one leg in…
it won’t f@*king matter until you’re thin.
The second you get comfortable, 
your bladder decides it’s full,
Then your tiny vagina-passenger 
punches the shit out of your uterus-wall.
It seems there’s no position 
where your body will let you sleep,
With itching bits, 
humungo-tits, 
leg cramps and tingly feet.
Your easiest option is left hand side
and even that’s a chore,
As you sit awake for hours 
watching your bastard husband snore…
So welcome to the joys of preggo-insomnia,
With its nightmares, 
and its panicking, 
and occasional hypochondria.
You may just have to face it; 
you just can’t f@*king win,
So suck it up and focus on that first post-natal gin.
#preggosomnia
#postnatalgin
#vaginapassenger
#gin

pssst… for any of you lovely pregnant ladies – Mumsnet is launching Bumpfest on 27th September; it’s first annual one-day event for all things birth and baby. Click through for info and ticket details. 

24 Comments

  1. Charlotte August 5, 2014
    • Wally Mummy August 6, 2014
  2. Hurrah For Gin August 5, 2014
  3. pinkoddy August 5, 2014
    • Wally Mummy August 6, 2014
  4. brummymummyof2 August 5, 2014
    • Wally Mummy August 6, 2014
  5. Suzanne W August 6, 2014
    • Wally Mummy August 6, 2014
  6. Kat Pearce August 6, 2014
    • Wally Mummy August 6, 2014
  7. Tom IdeasforDads August 6, 2014
    • Wally Mummy August 6, 2014
  8. sharon powell August 6, 2014
    • Wally Mummy August 14, 2014
  9. Californian Mum in London August 6, 2014
  10. Sara Murray August 7, 2014
    • Wally Mummy August 14, 2014
  11. Michelle Twin Mum August 7, 2014
  12. The Brick Castle August 14, 2014
    • Wally Mummy August 14, 2014

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