If Toddlers Had Their Own #Olympics…

Now obviously I would never shamelessly jump on the bandwagon of a major sporting event, and certainly wouldn’t even attempt to work the official #Rio2016 hashtag into the first line of a blog post in the hope people Googling to find pictures of Tom Daley’s dive partner’s bum might stumble across this instead… Nope. So now that’s clear, on with a list of events that …

One for my friend…

Here’s one for my friend who’s just had a baby I want you to know that I know just how crazy Life has become since this tiny person came along How sometimes it feels like you’re getting it all wrong But you’re doing amazing just making it through each day You never need to feel guilty, you’re just finding your way Through this thing they …

How To Enjoy The British Summertime with Kids and Toddlers…

Buy a Paddling Pool. Fill it and use it once… then leave the water in to stagnate for at least two weeks before deciding its festering condition has rendered it entirely unusable for the rest of the summer… Leave it there until the following February though. Just in case. The longer you spend setting up your own private garden-based wonder-splash-land, the quicker they’ll decide they’d …

A Guide to Life at 18-Months In…

So. The boy is 18 months… *does a shot* I remember this feeling from before… 18 months feels almost as big a milestone is the first birthday… at least at age one you’re still kinda pretending they’re a baby… but now toddler-dome is truly in full swing. I had forgotten how fast they can move, how loud they can scream, that they can beat you …

The BIG FAT 3rd Baby Debate

Now don’t get me wrong… Despite how the title reads; I can assure you I’m not saying I’m desperate for another boob-eating, vagina-shreading, tit-stamping, poo-producer… In fact, earlier today my 17-month old son took a shit in his OWN ACTUAL PALM and slapped me round the face with it while my 4-year old daughter laughed and ate a dairylea dunker. So trust me… this is NOT …

10 Scenarios Every Pre-schooler Parent Will Face on a Foreign Holiday 

I’ve done a fair few foreign holidays with my small people now… and I’ve lived to tell the tales, ride the inflatable whales, and not yet been thrown in any jails… And mainly I can tell you they all pretty much follow the same format. So if your embarking to the Costas with your toddlers (sorry. I’ll stop attempting to make everything rhyme shitly now.) …

A Guide to Life With Under Fives

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently… My days with two children under school age is drawing to a close. My daughter is off to ‘big school’ in September, and the boy seems further and further from a ‘baby’ with every day… (mainly due to his colossal turds and ability to take out older toddlers with his own home-made weapons at most groups we attend …

The 10 Commandments of the Pre-School Playdate…

Playdates take a new turn once your children upgrade from toddlerhood… all of a sudden, instead of NCT meets and messy play groups (*shudders a bit*), you’re in the realm of the pre-school playdate… It’s new territory… With unknown mums, unknown children and people who probably bake… So here’s my handy list of commandments for anyone hosting a pre-school playdate : Thou shall attempt not to host… Thou …

Can You Stop Now…?

Can you stop growing up now? Can you stay all tiny and small? I’m not sure I’m ready, For you to be all grown up and tall. One minute you were a baby, The next you’re about to start school… I swear you fell out of my fanjo just yesterday?! It’s gone too fast, that’s just not cool. I’m almost struggling to remember, Having just …

#HelpLacey

Hey lovely blog-following folk. I’m going to write a post I’d never normally write. Because it’s pretty rare for me to write anything ‘serious’… Right now I’m normally chugging Pinot Grigio, with the baby monitor on silent, eating cold left-over potato-waffles waiting for Geordie Shore to come on… But. I’m making a very rare and serious exception. Not because anyone has asked me to. Not …