Sorry. I was a Dick.

I’ve been thinking about how I was ‘before parenthood’ a lot lately… I’m not really sure why… Maybe because a lot of my friends are starting to have babies, or maybe because mine don’t seem to really be ‘babies’ anymore. No. With one having just started school, writing her name and singing nativity songs (oh yes… constantly… *twitches a bit*), and a small one who spends most days punching me …

Things You Should Know About Owning A Toddler… Again.

I admit it. I was complacent. I was smug. I thought to myself… I’ve done toddler. I’ve toddlered before. I know about toddlering. Second time round… I’ve got this toddler shit down. But. Oh how wrong I was… The truth is. My second toddler appears to have viewed his sister’s toddler days from the womb, like some kind of ‘toddler trial’, which needs to ‘bettered’. …

Parenting Hacks… Just A Normal Mummy Style

You know what. I’m just not one of those mums. You know what I mean… The ones who’ve actually got it together. That arrive places ‘on time’. With all the stuff they need. With lipgloss on. Without a hangover… It’s almost mystifying… I’m more of a… I don’t know what that stain on my left shoulder is, yes – this is a nursing top even though I stopped breastfeeding …

The 7 Phases of School Run Acceptance…

So hey. We’re now officially on week 4 of our first school year, and obviously total pros at this school-run thing now… But it’s been an ‘adjustment’ to say the least. Here’s my 7 Phases of School Run Acceptance for you all to laugh/cry/nod along/drink to…   1. Week 1, Day 1: Oh God… my baby’s off to school… I can’t believe this day has arrived… every time …

Sorry. But I Miss You.

I’ve ummed and ahhed over this post all week. I’ve begun writing it several times… then each time read back the first paragraph, and thought it made me sound like a bit of a soppy dick to be honest. So I’ve kept deleting it. But then it occurred to me that not every post on here has to be me banging on my excessive motherhood-related-gin-tolerance. …

Winter Ready… #MummyStyle

So finally the weather is turning… The coats are coming back out and the heating is going back on, and luckily you know this because everyone is announcing it on Facebook. THANK GOD. And you can relax once again as you hide your razor, dig out your Ugg boots and for a moment, just a moment… begin to think that because it’s darker for longer your children …

10 Ways to Know You Have a Child Starting School in September

I can’t quite believe that my ‘baby’ is starting school. I mean… I believe it; as in I know it’s happening. But I’m a bizarre mix of excited, terrified, guilty and sad all at the same time… Which is kind of parenting summed up to be fair… That and the flappy fanjo, never having nice things and eating cold, congealed fish-fingers over the kitchen bin washed …

If Toddlers Had Their Own #Olympics…

Now obviously I would never shamelessly jump on the bandwagon of a major sporting event, and certainly wouldn’t even attempt to work the official #Rio2016 hashtag into the first line of a blog post in the hope people Googling to find pictures of Tom Daley’s dive partner’s bum might stumble across this instead… Nope. So now that’s clear, on with a list of events that …

One for my friend…

Here’s one for my friend who’s just had a baby I want you to know that I know just how crazy Life has become since this tiny person came along How sometimes it feels like you’re getting it all wrong But you’re doing amazing just making it through each day You never need to feel guilty, you’re just finding your way Through this thing they …