My Mummy, The Slacker – A #Funee Post

Today, Actually Mummy has trusted me to host her weekly Wot So #Funee linky… MWAHAHAHAHA… I know. She really has. I didn’t have to get her drunk or anything. Honest. She’s probably somewhere breaking out in a nervous rash right now… panicking… rocking… trying to drink through it…

Soooooooo, if anyone does has any aversion to swearing, gin and repeatedly talking about vaginas, please look away……….. now.

And the rest of you, please continue on to WallyBubba’s little ode to her Mummy and insert your own smug, smiley face……….. now.

My Mummy, she’s a slacker,
I don’t know how we get through the day…
She seems to lack basic maternal instincts, 
Even her own uterus is trying to run away. 
My Mummy, she’s a slacker,
She’s really not pulling her weight.
All the time I’m playing my crocodile xylophone,
she’s just using Twitter and eating cake.
My Mummy, she’s a slacker,
She thinks yoghurt constitutes a meal.
She’s even taught me to use my own spoon,
So she can watch The Housewives who are Real…?
My Mummy, she’s a slacker,
She reckons soft play counts as exercise.
Even though she takes me to one in a pub,
And just sits; drinking wine and eating pies.
My Mummy, she’s a slacker,
She even makes me tidy my own toys.
She’s resorted to bribery and dirty tactics,
Using Heinz Biscotti as decoys.
My Mummy, she’s a slacker,
Most days she looks like she fell out of a bin.
Leggings, over-sized jumpers and yesterday’s mascara…
No wonder her diet is mostly gin.
My Mummy, she’s a slacker.
I think it’s time I had a word.
So Mummy if you’re reading this,
Your behaviour has become absurd…
I need swinging, and bouncing and ice-cream time,
For at least sixteen hours a day.
So smarten yourself up, and wear some lipstick woman,
Else I’ll be replacing you with Daddy – Okay.
Much love,
WallyBubba 
xxx

p.s. vote for my mummy in the BiBs or I’ll cut you. 

Wot So Funee?

If you want to join in with the linky, link your #funee post below and leave a comment on this post, then grab the code for the blog hop or get the badge here
Try to visit a few others and spread the #bloglove too! 

34 Comments

  1. Tori Wel March 26, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 26, 2013
  2. Little Rascal Reviews March 26, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 26, 2013
  3. Tas D March 26, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 26, 2013
  4. The Mini Mes and Me March 26, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 26, 2013
  5. AlwaysARedhead March 26, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 26, 2013
  6. Xandi | The Mummy Scripts March 26, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 26, 2013
  7. Ericka Waller March 26, 2013
  8. New Mum Online March 26, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 26, 2013
  9. New Mum Online March 26, 2013
  10. Jharmain Mortimer March 26, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 26, 2013
  11. Mum in a Hurry March 27, 2013
  12. @bluebearwood March 27, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 27, 2013
  13. Emily Foran March 27, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 27, 2013
  14. The Beesley Buzz March 27, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 27, 2013
  15. Charly Dove March 28, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 28, 2013
  16. RACHEL TaoOfPoop March 30, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 30, 2013
  17. Actually Mummy... April 5, 2013
    • Wally Mummy April 5, 2013

Leave a Reply