Happy Birthday Daddy

Hi Daddy,
Mummy tells me it’s your birthday today. I have no idea what that is as I’ve never had one, but Mummy said it means cake and presents so I’ve decided to go with it. (I hope you’ve got me something good – we’re all trying to forget about the sippy cup incident…)
As it’s your birthday, I thought it was about time you and me had a little chat. You’re not a new Daddy anymore; I’ve been around for nearly 10 months now and I just think if this relationship is going to work long-term, you’re going to need to work on a couple of things. Because it’s not me, it really is you.

When I ask to be picked up and played with I need this to happen within 10 seconds max. Playing is your job. Slacking won’t be tolerated. When I call for you and Mummy comes instead, this makes me very angry. This is why I have been using my very angry face. I was thinking we could work on a rota; how about Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday – 5pm cuddle slots and alternate weekends?Please don’t try to dress me. I think we both know why. Can we agree to a minimum of one hour of funny faces and jiggling around every day? I don’t know why, but I just find it so shitting funny.Also – I’m going to need you to not go to work anymore. These mega-blocks aren’t going to build themselves. I really enjoy our Saturday mornings together but please can we watch cartoons rather than that weird cooking show? Let’s face it, I’m under one and Mummy says your idea of cooking is to call someone called Dominos… Pokemon is just gonna work out better for both of us.Now you’ve let me try ice-cream, I’m going to need to have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Mummy. If you want me to behave when Granny baby-sits so you and mummy can go out, I’m going to need a pony by the time I’m 11.I don’t want to be a rugby player. I’m a girl. Just telling you now so you have several years to come to terms with it. Oh and you need to buy mummy some designer shoes (and she’s asked me to say that she definitely didn’t tell me to write that one.)

Oh yeah and Happy Birthday. Hope you like socks. 
#youshouldseethelistIhaveformummy’sbirthday
#she’sgonnaneedalotofginforthatone…
#don’tforgetthepony 
#what’sgin?

26 Comments

  1. Karen October 8, 2012
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