Babes and the Seaside…

Babes and the seaside…
 Just don’t bastard-well mix.
It’s death in every direction,
it must be some kind of fix.
It starts off when they’re tiny,
And they won’t stop eating sand.
By the time they are crawling,
It’s getting out of hand…
If there’s anything sharp they’ll find it,
And shove it up their nose,
They’re certainly closer to nature;
There’s wildlife in their clothes.
You’ll need a week’s preparation,
To deal with all the ‘stuff’.
The toys, the towels, the food, the equipment,
And you still never have enough…
By the time they’re toddling,
They’re experts at seaside ‘hide’n’seek’.
Don’t look away for a second,
They run when they sense you are weak.
Days when it’s really windy,
Are the days they don’t want to wear clothes.
But the second they’re strip, and run for a dip,
They’re cold and HATE sand between their toes.
Don’t get me started on suncream,
Or that Daddy brought the wrong colour spade.
“The reason there’s sand in your F-ing sandwich,
Is because you buried it saying it ‘needed shade’.”
So don’t bother with babies at the seaside,
It’s a never-ending battle you won’t win.
Instead stay at home in the garden,
Where you can sit, without judgement, drinking gin.
#gin

 

38 Comments

  1. Alison Bloomer May 21, 2014
  2. Elisa May 21, 2014
  3. SarahMummy May 21, 2014
    • Wally Mummy May 21, 2014
  4. Suzanne W May 21, 2014
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  5. brummymummyof2 May 21, 2014
    • Wally Mummy May 22, 2014
  6. Jess Paterson May 21, 2014
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  7. Tracy May 22, 2014
  8. Tom IdeasforDads May 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy May 22, 2014
  9. Older Single Mum May 22, 2014
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  10. Actually Mummy... May 22, 2014
  11. Older Mum May 23, 2014
  12. Donna May 23, 2014
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  13. Cate, Me add three May 23, 2014
  14. Charly Dove May 24, 2014
    • Wally Mummy May 27, 2014
  15. Genna Millar May 25, 2014
    • Wally Mummy May 27, 2014
  16. Sara Murray May 27, 2014
    • Wally Mummy May 27, 2014
  17. Carry On Katy June 28, 2015

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