Everyone's F@*king Pregnant

Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
My facebook is a plethora of foetuses.
Scan photos, baby bumps, new-borns and birth stories,
Doesn’t anyone know what a secret is…?

Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
I’ll confess that it’s making me moody.
It’s just because my baby’s not a ‘baby’ anymore,
Anyone would think I was bastard-well broody…

Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
Every day there’s another text.
A mini-miracle in the oven of the knocked-up pudding club,
Are they expecting a medal for having unprotected sex…?

Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
I can’t help but feel a bit jealous.
Until I look at the toddler, whilst downing rioja,
And remember I’m back in control of my uterus.

Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
It’s enough to turn me to gin…
But while everyone makes the jump, and grows their mummy-bumps,
I’ll temporarily enjoy feeling thin.

#smugthinface
#gin
#rioja

42 Comments

  1. Ruby Knickers March 11, 2014
    • Wally Mummy March 11, 2014
  2. julesey10 March 11, 2014
    • Wally Mummy March 11, 2014
  3. Hurrah For Gin March 11, 2014
    • Wally Mummy March 11, 2014
  4. Anonymous March 11, 2014
  5. Bex @ The Mummy Adventure March 11, 2014
    • Wally Mummy March 11, 2014
  6. Sian March 11, 2014
    • Wally Mummy March 11, 2014
  7. Pippa March 11, 2014
    • Wally Mummy March 11, 2014
  8. Joanna Henley March 11, 2014
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  9. Hannah March 11, 2014
  10. Alison Bloomer March 11, 2014
    • Wally Mummy March 11, 2014
  11. Notmyyearoff March 11, 2014
    • Wally Mummy March 11, 2014
  12. Claire Toplis March 11, 2014
  13. mrssavageangel March 12, 2014
  14. Tom IdeasforDads March 12, 2014
  15. The Brick Castle March 12, 2014
    • Wally Mummy March 13, 2014
  16. Sally Gill March 12, 2014
  17. Older Mum March 12, 2014
  18. gina caro March 16, 2014
  19. SarahMummy March 18, 2014
  20. Emma March 26, 2014
  21. cazzarama April 23, 2014

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