Mummy just wants to have ONE shower,
Without the WallyBubba, the Octopals, and Duck.
She’d like time to rinse the shower-gel off,
Before her toothbrush is getting a suck.
She’d love to have ten minutes ‘me’ time,
To wash the porridge (and hope) from her hair.
And remember what it’s like to be crumb-free,
How the hell did a rice-cake get stuck there…?
Oh, Mummy would love to bathe by herself,
Forget the bastard no-more-tears shampoo.
She dreams of face-masks, conditioner and shaving of legs…
not half-time hairbrush rescue from the loo.
Mummy just wants time to get ready alone,
But with an 18-month-old you’re having a laugh.
She’d actually sell both her kidneys on eBay,
If it meant she could go solo in the bath.
Yes Mummy just wants to take ONE shower,
Without a toddler licking the contents of the bin.
One that’s hot, and lonely, and faeces-free,
And is accompanied by a shower-ready gin.