This year I promise not to poo in the bath,
And eat something other than yoghurt.
But try giving me textured stuff on a spoon again and I’ll knife you,
‘Cos if it’s not super smooth you can stuff it.
This year I promise to stop pretend coughing,
And embarrassing you at all of my play groups.
I’ll stop punching other babies and stealing their toys,
If you stop wearing leggings and feed me hula-hoops.
This year I promise to stop laughing in your face,
When you say NO I’ll not have a paddy.
I’ll not have a melt-down when I can’t reach the remote,
I’ll store up my tantrums for when I see Daddy.
This year I promise I’ll go in my pushchair without a fight,
You won’t have to wrestle me into the highchair.
I’ll play quietly on my own while you tweet from your phone,
And generally stop being a nightmare.
This year I promise to love you even more,
I’ll even lie still when you change my nappy.
I’ll be perfect, and quiet, and gentle, and funny,
So long as you’re my Mummy, that’s all I need to be happy.