Mummy misses that Friday feeling,
And getting totally nobbed in the pub.
Mummy misses those random nights,
Where you end up singing Spice Girls in a club.
Mummy misses lazy Sundays,
And strolling at her own pace in the park.
Mummy misses having an actual waistline,
And hips that stay in-line without stretch marks.
Mummy misses relaxing mealtimes,
And playing catch with someone who can ACTUALLY THROW.
Mummy misses wearing proper makeup,
And clothing that’s not dappled with Cheerios.
Mummy misses matching underwear,
And seeing her vagina without using a mirror.
When Mummy says NO, she means bastard NO,
And she can’t make that any bastard clearer.
Mummy misses magazines and mascara,
And having time to actually get bored.
But luckily Mummy is f@*king awesome;
Did I mention Mummy won a mother-shitting award!
(Sorry, just had to get that in there… As I am now officially an award winning funny lady! #BiBs2014)