My Two-year Blogiversary Poem… #twoyearsofgin

During my two years in the blogosphere,
I’ve seen things that’ll make you cry.
From projectile vom over Tree Fu Tom,
To my toddler punching an Alsatian in the eye.
The WallyBubba was practically a newborn,
When I started ranting away on the net.
She was the size of shoe, producing vast amounts of poo,
Her only hobbies were shitting and reflux roulette.
Then came the era of the Jumperoo,
That giant plastic bastard saved my life.
It helped me get through teething, and the wanker that is weaning,
I still flinch cutting-up spag-bol with a knife.
Nothing could prepare me for toddler-dome,
When it starts moving and becoming a walker.
It’s the point you begin, to find a new friend called gin.
And you can’t take a piss without a 2ft stalker.
Soon they begin talking right back at you,
Picking up every bugger, every arse, every c@*t.
The problem with toddlers, is they’re right little meddlers,
They make it bloody hard to be the parent that you want.
By two I’d say life is pretty much over.
Your home is just a marmite/play-doh mess.
All you do is shout ‘NO!’, ‘don’t touch that!’ and ‘time to go!’,
You long to wear matching underwear and occasionally say ‘yes’…
So thank you for my two years in the blogosphere,
For laughing and supporting me through thick and thin*,
Here’s to a few more years, of crusty leggings and 3am tears,
And only surviving parenthood thanks to gin.
#gin
#twoyearblogiversary
#twoyearsofgin

*By thin, I mean I know how to take a good selfie and instagram has got my back.

I’m up for Most Entertaining Blog in this year’s MAD Blog Awards so if you like what your read, please take a few seconds to vote for me! Voting closes at midnight on 24th April. 


Just click on the badge below to go to the site and place you vote for JUST A NORMAL MUMMY in the Most Entertaining Category:


MAD Blog Awards

Wot So Funee?



46 Comments

  1. Emma Kershaw April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  2. Hurrah For Gin April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  3. Kim Carberry April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  4. size15stylist April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  5. SarahMummy April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  6. Wicked World of Lucas April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  7. Tas D April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  8. The Reading Residence April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  9. Louise Fairweather April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  10. ponymartini April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  11. Actually Mummy... April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  12. Kate Pirouette April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  13. Californian Mum in London April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 22, 2014
  14. Jess Paterson April 22, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 23, 2014
  15. Charly Dove April 23, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 23, 2014
  16. Charly Dove April 23, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 23, 2014
  17. cazzarama April 23, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 23, 2014
  18. Charlotte April 23, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 23, 2014
  19. Eco Gites of Lénault April 23, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 23, 2014
  20. Donna April 25, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 25, 2014
  21. Jaime Oliver April 27, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 30, 2014
  22. Amy April 28, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 30, 2014
  23. Judith Hurrell April 28, 2014
    • Wally Mummy April 30, 2014

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.