Dear little man…
When will you f@*king sleep?
I can’t remember the last time I laid down my head,
Without dreading the next night-time feed.
Dear lovely boy…
I’m fed up of surfing the Net at night.
And asking the all the tweeters, and the Facebook and the Google;
What the f@*k aren’t I doing right?!
Dear tiny dude…
I’m starting to pull out my bloody hair!
Do people really think I haven’t tried every-bloody-thing,
‘Do you feed him enough, is he teething, what does he wear…?’
Dear little buddy…
It just doesn’t matter what I do.
Grobag, no bag, hot, cold, light or dark…
Remember I ruined the rest of my vagina for you!?
Dear gorgeous chap…
I love you, but enough is enough.
Just sleep through the bloody night, and I won’t be so uptight,
Or topping my cornflakes with a Pinot Grigio Blush.