#MummyFriends

No-one ever really tells you why it’s so hard being a mum.

Possibly because in order that the human race actually continues, allowing women to believe that labour is a ‘constructive pain‘ (Seriously – Fuck you.) and keeping under wraps the four-month-sleep-regression, nipples turning into pate, and your labia stretching to a length by which you could make a hammock for sylvanian families out of it…. is quite sensible. I can see how this might be slightly off putting.

However, the slight inconvenience of your vagina exploding so your uterus can release a human-f@*king-being, is far from the hardest part…

What’s far more difficult is the continued battle to keep hold of your sense of self, your past life and the friends that go with that, and not descending into a legging-clad hermit who cries into cakes at things she reads on Facebook. (nope… never done that… not at all even slightly at all…)

But this, my friends, is why the Universe invented #MummyFriends

The NCT gang, the aqua-natal allies, baby-group buddies, playground pals or even friendly folk on Facebook forums… often springing from the most unlikely or insignificant places, THESE are your #MummyFriends and the support that all of us need…

Many a mum has sat, nose buried in iPhone, at new mum groups wondering whether to stay for yet another rendition of Twinkle Twinkle or to bolt for the door… but then a friendly face stops, chats, understands, has also been wearing the same pants for a week and frequently cries in carparks for no reason… and BOOM. You start to realise it’s NOT JUST YOU.

#MummyFriends are the ones that respond to your desperate late night tweets, the people you turn to first when your child has taken a metaphorical shit on your plans (and a real one in your hair), they know the right things to say when you’re not ok, and they never judge you for having a pint of wine before midday. Out of a thermos. At baby-sensory…

THEY are the ones that know the lies behind that Facebook profile picture, the torture of the sleepless nights, and that sometimes you just need to eat all five doughnuts without breathing in between because NO 70cm LONG HUMAN SHOULD BE ABLE TO PRODUCE THAT MUCH SHIT, IN THAT COLOUR. EVER.

They tell you you’re doing a GOOD JOB, make you feel like a good mum, a good person, and agree with you that being thin and sober is SERIOUSLY OVER-RATED, as it mostly doesn’t involve cake, gin and gin-cake. They don’t bat an eyelid when you turn up wearing a skirt shorter than your vagina for your first Mums Night Out in 3 months, promptly throw up and have to go home at 9pm because five glasses of wine actually IS too many when you’ve not slept since 2011 and spanx are sucking your dangly bits into the area where your stomach should be… (nope… never happened to me.. not at all even slightly at all…)

So when your past life is fading into insignificance, the old friends have stop calling, the texts have dried up and the facebook likes are few and far between… remember… for the shitty bits and brilliant bits of Mummyhood alike, you’ve got your #MummyFriends.

(and gin… you’ve also got gin...)

#MummyFriends

#gin

#SylvanianFamilyLabiaHammock

 

24 Comments

  1. suzanne3childrenandit May 1, 2015
  2. mrshsfavouritethings May 1, 2015
  3. The DADventurer May 1, 2015
    • Wally Mummy May 3, 2015
  4. angie May 1, 2015
  5. rachelreallife May 2, 2015
  6. Suzzy May 5, 2015
    • Wally Mummy May 5, 2015
  7. Sarah W (@sarahMo3W) May 5, 2015
    • Wally Mummy May 5, 2015
  8. Emma Day May 5, 2015
    • Wally Mummy May 5, 2015
  9. julie sanford May 6, 2015
    • Wally Mummy May 6, 2015
  10. julie sanford May 6, 2015
  11. ellie June 14, 2015
  12. Chloe September 15, 2016
  13. The Pramshed September 16, 2016

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