Please don’t let me down.
We’ll be in it together,
When the baby starts to crown.
I’m relying on you,
To get me through this shit.
To hold yourself together,
And not fall apart or split.
I need you to maintain relationships,
With my pelvic floor and perineum.
So you can swiftly deliver,
My uterus to freedom.
I’ll need you in future,
I need you up to the task.
If I ever want to have fun times again,
Without doing it in the… *cough*
So please vagina,
Just get me through this thing.
I promise just one way traffic after this,
Under the calming influence of gin.