We’ve all experienced the #ToddlerRage,
The super human strength of a tiny-tantrumming-two-year-old,
We all know the warning signs of #ToddlerRage,
The sobbing, the whining, the pleading.
Then Mummy takes a left hook to the fanny or the face,
And either way, someone ends up bleeding…
You’ve said NO to the TV, and NO to the sweets,
You know this is going to cost ya’…
The park was a disaster, the journey was worse,
And a badly-timed-toddler-poo just got you barred from Costa.
So we should all be wary of the #ToddlerRage,
With its screaming, and scratching, and floor-flops.
It can happen to the best of us – anytime, anywhere;
At the playground, the supermarket, and bus-stops…
So heed my words about the #ToddlerRage,
Protect your dignity, your eyes and vagina.
Soft-play, ice-cream and Frozen on DVD…
And you too can be a #ToddlerRage-Survivor.
|My hair straighteners – the victim of #ToddlerRage…|