Mummy Guilt – The Lazy Era

I’ve had this niggling feeling over the last few months…

WallyBubba is most certainly not a baby anymore and gone are the days of flopping about on the sofa wearing week old mascara, crispy leggings and the odd tiny inoffensive poo…

No. That is a memory of a distant time now. These days she is a yoghurt shovelling, tantrum throwing, toy Dyson wielding acrobat who can shit her own body weight in seconds. And she takes some serious energy to keep entertained I can tell you…

And this is what’s bothering me – I’m worried I’m not doing enough with her…

Clearly, she’s fine (if you consider fine eating with a comb and spending most days wearing a swim poncho) but am I giving her enough day to day experiences and broadening her tiny little mind as much as I should be?

Any day that begins with me managing to get a bra on before midday I think counts as a good one, yet I keep hearing rumours of mums who actually get up BEFORE their children and plan a day of educational and sometimes even ‘glue-based’ activities… MADNESS.

It doesn’t half make you feel like shit when you make a rare appearance at a Mummy/Toddler group  and all the near 2-year olds have spent the morning baking cupcakes and learning how to count to ten in fucking Swahili.

If I’m honest, I think I might actually be allergic to crafts. The idea of messy play gives me mild convulsions and I have a recurring nightmare where she finds one of the 75 biros I’ve hidden around the house and goes to work on my sofa… *shudders*… 
The truth is MY afternoon’s play activities usually extend to a fairly low-energy game of hide and seek (I hide… In the bathroom, with the door locked… twitching and saying ‘there’s no place like home’ over and over. It’s great you should try it…), letting her read Heat magazine over my shoulder, and if she’s been a really good girl I let her press the confirm button on the amazon order. I have barred her from ‘helping’ me to bid for stuff on eBay though… 
There’s also Cooking Time – I let her press the button on the toaster. And wear the colander as a hat. BOOM. #mumoftheyearaward
Outdoor play – I let her out. Sometimes I give her a stick. Or a shoe. Or something.
Other popular activities include dancing to MTV, tipping out and then tidying away all the Duplo, wearing shoes on our hands, sticker time with the cats (they’re still recovering) and naked hoovering.

For everything else there’s CBeebies. And crisps. And alcohol. 

So there you have it. I think it’s time for me to stop feeling guilty, and conclude that perhaps it’s time to give her a change of scenery and send her to nursery to get filthy and go cold turkey on Peppa Pig for a couple of days a week… especially as I have a packet of quavers and a large G&T with my name on it.

#mumoftheyearaward
#crispsandgin
#gin

12 Comments

  1. The Unmumsy Mum September 4, 2013
    • Wally Mummy September 4, 2013
    • The Unmumsy Mum September 4, 2013
    • Wally Mummy September 4, 2013
  2. Becky Johnston September 4, 2013
    • Wally Mummy September 4, 2013
  3. Lynette Brighton September 5, 2013
    • Wally Mummy September 5, 2013
  4. blueberetmum September 5, 2013
    • Wally Mummy September 5, 2013
  5. Sarah Anne September 6, 2013
    • Wally Mummy September 6, 2013

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