The F@*k-You-Mummies.

We all know the Fuck-You-Mummies,
The ones you try your hardest to ignore…
Marmite-free hair and perfect skin, getting through the day without gin,
Don’t they know parenthood’s what alcohol is for…?

I can’t stand those Fuck-You-Mummies,
The ones who look at you down their nose.
‘Coz you can’t be arsed with stay-and-play, and wear pyjamas for most of the day,
And make breakfast, lunch and dinner out of toast…

I hate those Fuck-You-Mummies,
Whose children eat salad through choice….?!
And don’t speak until they’re spoken to, or laugh when they’ve broken you,
And never make weapons out of their toys.

I loathe those Fuck-You-Mummies,
Looking smug as their kids sit and play.
Speaking three different languages, making their own cucumber sandwiches,
And actually ‘doing’ what their parents say…?

I’ve no time for the Fuck-You-Mummies,
Who don’t allow TV or eat anything containing wheat.
The CBeebies bedtime hour, is my only chance for a bastard shower,
While my daughter eats sofa raisins and licks her own feet.

So Fuck You you Fuck-You-Mummies,
I’m not perfect and that’s okay.
My child’s hilarious and quirky, unpredictable and always dirty,
And I wouldn’t have it any other Fucking way.

#FuckYouFuckYouMummies
#Offtohaveagiantgin
#hopefullyIstillhavesomefollowersleft

34 Comments

  1. Lorraine Hakes August 8, 2013
  2. diaryofafbg August 8, 2013
    • Wally Mummy August 8, 2013
  3. blueberetmum August 8, 2013
    • Wally Mummy August 8, 2013
  4. The Brick Castle August 8, 2013
    • Wally Mummy August 8, 2013
  5. WeezaFish August 8, 2013
    • Wally Mummy August 8, 2013
  6. afra willmore August 8, 2013
    • Wally Mummy August 8, 2013
  7. Kim Carberry August 8, 2013
  8. Bex August 8, 2013
    • Wally Mummy August 8, 2013
  9. Rebecca Wallace August 9, 2013
    • Wally Mummy August 9, 2013
  10. Michelle Ordever August 9, 2013
  11. Charlotte Brown August 10, 2013
    • Wally Mummy August 10, 2013
  12. Judith Kingston August 10, 2013
    • Wally Mummy August 10, 2013
  13. youbabymemummy August 20, 2013
  14. Hannah - Budding Smiles August 11, 2014
  15. Mardy Kerrie August 11, 2014
  16. Elisa Tomba August 11, 2014

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