I’m sorry I became the self-appointed cat-flap warden. And didn’t let you in for three days…
I’m sorry I used one of you as a pillow.
And the other as a footmuff.
I’m sorry I ate all the kitty treats. (They tasted better than some of the shit I’ve been presented with for dinner I can tell you. You’ve got it good guys. You’ve got it good…*High five*)
I’m sorry I tried to get you to wear shoes. But you should be more sorry. Shoes are awesome and the best.
I’m sorry I tried to remove sections of your fur with my fists. I was hoping to collate enough hair to make into a stick-on comedy moustache… thought that would really shit Daddy up one Saturday morning…
And most of all I’m sorry I told you you were adopted.
I hope you can forgive me. And if you change your mind about the shoe thing I have them all hidden in my room. Along with the remaining kitty treats.