I wrote this as a guest post for Britmums – check it out, along with some other fab posts here
Which is harder; a toddler or a baby?
A question I ask with a sigh…
As you take the mummy role, they suck away your mummy soul,
But toddlers throw Megabloks at you as you cry.
Which is tougher; a toddler or a baby?
There’s really no telling them apart.
Giant boobs and eye bags, versus CBeebies while everything sags,
Thank God I had Twitter from the start…
Which is more draining; a toddler or a baby?
Newborn sleep-deprivation had me looking like shite.
Now it’s all tantrums and sprinting and screaming,
I’m fairly sure she could take me in a fight…
Which is more difficult; a toddler or a baby?
There’s just no easy way to distinguish.
It’s nice that I can sleep alone, but when can I go to the loo alone…
I need my bathroom time to weep and eat biscuits.
Which is more testing; a toddler or a baby?
I just don’t know where to begin…
The wailing and whining, compared with avant garde dining,
No wonder I turned to the gin.
So which is the winner; the toddler or the baby?
I’m more worried about what’s yet to come…
But one thing’s for sure, it’s the hardest job of all,
We deserve a f@*king medal just for being a mum.