WallyMummy's Big Fat Wally-Quiz of the Year

Happy New Year to all my wonderful followers. (AKA the world’s best people)
You are clearly super sexy and totally know it, so to celebrate the arrival of 2013, it feels only right I give you a little quiz.
Answer on behalf of your babies, and don’t forget to take this very seriously. And be drunk.
Question 1:
Mummy seems to have replaced your bottle with a strange little cup with handles. What should you do?
A – If Mummy gave it to me it must be the best. Because Mummy is the best. I love Mummy. 
B – Since the ‘hidden broccoli’ incident, I’m not taking any chances. I will ONLY drink from Mummy’s cup. And I’ll be drinking with my angry face on. 
C – Call Childline on the deceitful whore. 
Question 2:

Mummy has been taking you to this thing called ‘Baby Signing’, and now her and Daddy keep making funny movements with their hands. What do you do?

A – Daddy’s head is shiny. I like shiny. 
B – If it gives me a moments peace I’ll play ball – every few weeks I’ll sign something back just shut them up and keep the Heinz Apple Biscotti coming. They’re really very easy to train if you’re strict with them from the beginning.
C – How about you swivel on this, bitch. *raise middle finger while scowling intently*

Question 3:

You’re moving around easily now, and Mummy & Daddy appear to have moved everything just out of your reach in the living room. How do you react?

A – Mummy’s face smells yummy. I think I’ll lick it.
B – Use a pyramid formation of megabloks and one of the cats to act as a stepladder. There’s nothing I can’t reach. Fools. *tut and shake head*
C – She can move her CDs all she wants. I can still shit on the floor and eat it.
Also – if I had Right Said Fred in my music collection, I wouldn’t just be moving that shit – I’d be burning it.

Question 4:

Mummy and Daddy seem to have been going out a lot more and keep taking you for sleep-overs at Granny’s house. How do you feel about this?

A – I love Mummy and Daddy. They give me cuddles.
B – I’m cool with it. Granny is even more of a pushover than they are. Last week she let me eat an entire cupcake whilst watching Driver Dan on repeat for an hour in my pants. She’s like putty in my hands.
C – I can’t go to Granny’s if her house has a little accident with a match now can I… I’ve got friends. Friends in high places. This shit could get real.

Question 5:

The iPhones and Sky remote are still eluding you. What are you going to do?

A – That’s ok – Mummy said the unicorns are coming.
B – I’m going to pull out a new ‘sign’ this week – I’ve had ‘sheep’ in the making for a while. They’ll be so impressed they’ll probably buy me my own shitting iPhone.
C – You should see what I’ve brewing for tonight. Hello giant soft designer white bunny I got for my birthday two weeks ago, meet my homemade-arse-fudge.

Question 6:

At bedtime, Mummy and Daddy keep putting this little brush in your mouth which tastes of mint. What should you do?

A – What’s mint?
B – Don’t open your mouth. It’s a trick. Practice holding your breath during xylophone time in case they try that nose holding thing again.
C – Let them try. I will shit them up. I am way stronger than you think. Mummy can still over-power me but Daddy has no chance. I can crush him like a sweetcorn ring.

Question 7:

Mummy and Daddy keep taking you to this place called the ‘pub’ on Sunday lunch times. What do you think about this?

A – Daddy loves the pub. Mummy loves Daddy. I love Mummy… therefore… I am pub? Im confused.
B – I’ll do it, but I’m gonna need that Yorkshire pudding, a Mars Bar and a selection of menus. Else we’re looking at an hour’s non-stop screaming and me sticking my hand in whatever ‘that’ stain is on the floor. Then licking it.
C – If they expect me to sit in an inferiorly made piece of plastic crap for three hours while they get pissed they are are f@*king high.

Answers:

Mostly A’s – You’re just not getting it. We’re going to have to send the wasps round.
Mostly B’s – Nicely played. iPhone and a Sky-remote in the post to you.
Mostly C’s – We’re a bit scared. Please don’t call your ‘friends’ on us. *nervous laugh*

#gin
#happynewyear
#newyeargin

20 Comments

  1. mum tales January 1, 2013
    • Wally Mummy January 1, 2013
  2. Joanna Henley January 1, 2013
  3. Paula January 2, 2013
    • Wally Mummy January 2, 2013
  4. joy January 2, 2013
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  5. The Crumby Mummy January 2, 2013
  6. WeezaFish January 3, 2013
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  7. Mummy Hazelden January 3, 2013
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  8. Scarlett January 5, 2013
    • Wally Mummy January 6, 2013
  9. Jackie Cr January 7, 2013
  10. Distressed Housewife January 20, 2013
    • Wally Mummy January 20, 2013

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