It is with deep sadness and regret that I announce today a horrific and fatal incident involving the Teething Fairy.
The incident occurred at approximately 12 o’clock, midnight last night – Saturday 22nd September. Official statements suggest that during a routine visit to one ‘WallyBubba’ at a house in Southsea, the Teething Fairy reportedly tripped and accidentally stabbed herself in the face several times with the small end of a Calpol medicine spoon. She then came round for long enough to hurl herself down the stairs and reverse over herself with the Ninky Nonk. Three times.
It was a gruesome affair, and our sources at the scene say she really had no chance of survival given the extent of her injuries.
The death isn’t being treated as suspicious. There were apparently NO friends to be told, but the tooth fairy, a past colleague of hers, apparently shared these words:
‘She was a total bitch. And she once two-timed Makka Pakka with Elmo. He was heartbroken. Never got over it.’
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